How I Became a Winter Person and a Hug Enthusiast
Introduction
Growing up, I was unequivocally not a winter person. Very early on, I was diagnosed with Raynaud’s disease, a condition that makes your fingers and toes go numb and change color when you are cold, stressed, or upset (so fitting for an anxious little girl). So, in the heart of our brutal New England winters or even on a nippy fall day, my fingers and toes would go numb. They would turn white, then purple, and eventually start tingling and turn bright red. When you can’t feel your extremities, enjoying winter weather is tricky.
Embracing Winter (But Not People)
When I met Jon and learned he was an avid snowboarder, I just assumed it would be his thing. Until we bought a house in New Hampshire, just 10 minutes from Gunstock Ski Resort. I promised Jon that I would give skiing a try. He explained that winter clothing technology had vastly improved over the last 20 years, and I might enjoy myself with the right gear. And he was right. Outfitted in my fancy ski jacket and moisture-wicking base layers, I realized that skiing wasn’t that miserable after all. Now, 5.5 years after buying our NH home, we are proud Gunstock season pass holders.
After we clicked the purchase button on the passes, Jon turned to me and said, “I have officially turned you into a winter person!”
“I guess so,” I hesitantly agreed.
“And maybe even a hugger, too,” he said tentatively.
“Let’s not get too crazy,” I warned him.
You’d think the always-cold girl would enjoy hugs to get warm, but that was not the case. I have never been a big hugger. I would accept hugs, of course. I just wasn’t someone who would initiate a hug for every hello, goodbye, or minor excitement in between. Hugs were reserved for certain people and circumstances.
Overcoming My Hug Aversion
Too much hugging made me uncomfortable, and nothing was worse than misjudging a hug. Ever misread a situation and go in for a hug when the other person intended to give you a hearty handshake or an eager wave? If that happened to me, I would go into a tailspin of embarrassment for days. There are misjudged hugs that I still think about and cringe.
However, the weird part is I didn’t realize the extent of my aversion to hugs until a few years ago when several friends told me as much. I was the “non-hugger” of the group, and my discomfort with hugs was apparent (no poker face, I guess). I had no idea I was giving off “human cactus” vibes, especially to the people I cherished the most. So, over the last few years, I have made a concerted effort to hug more and retract less.
Discovering the Benefits of Hugging
Then, one day, I took a class with Lisa Jakub at Kripalu, and she talked about the importance of hugging for our mental and emotional health. I had no idea that hugging can regulate your mind during times of stress and boost self-esteem when you’re feeling low. A big, long hug can also make you more mindful of your surroundings, just like meditation.
Soon after that class, I began to see similar teachings all over my Instagram feed and in my internet travels. Either Meta kept close tabs on my brain waves, or the universe was trying to tell me something. Maybe both.
I learned about all the wonderful things hugs do for our bodies, including reducing inflammation, boosting our immune system, and lowering blood pressure. I began to understand that hugging is more than just a greeting — it manifests human connection and is a critical part of physical and emotional well-being.
The True Power of Hugging
However, it wasn’t until recently that I truly understood the true power of hugging. Within the last month and a half, we lost two people — a good friend (my best friend’s fiancé) and my only uncle. I had seen them both recently, and my last interaction with both included a goodbye hug.
A week before my uncle passed, I visited him in the hospital and hugged him goodbye, knowing very well it could be our last hug. With my friend, I saw him just a few weeks before he passed and gave him a goodbye hug, thinking it was a “see you later” hug.
Embracing Life’s Uncertainties
I will always wonder why we lost these remarkable people too early. But I won’t wonder if they knew how much I cared about and appreciated them — that is the power of hugging. These past few months have reminded me that tomorrow is never promised, so we should give and receive all the hugs we can.
If high-tech ski gear can protect my body during the bitter cold, a big old bear hug can protect my heart during the toughest times. So, yes, after 41 years on this earth, I am officially a winter person and a hugger.
